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The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Mark Manson
2016
224 pages · about 3h 44m to read OL17590212Wgoodreads

Summary

Manson argues against the standard positive-thinking self-help position, holding that the pursuit of constant positive experience is itself a negative experience and that accepting negative experience is a positive one. His central claim is that a person has a limited capacity to care and must choose deliberately what to spend it on rather than trying to care about everything or nothing.

His substantive positions include that problems never end and that the objective is better problems rather than fewer; that values determine which problems a person gets, so choosing bad values produces suffering regardless of success; that good values are reality-based, socially constructive and controllable while bad values are event-based, socially destructive and outside a person's control; that a person is always responsible for their response even when not at fault for the situation; that certainty is the enemy of growth and that a person should aim to be less wrong over time rather than right; and that the willingness to be rejected and to reject is what makes commitment meaningful.

He draws on Stoicism, on Buddhist ideas, on William James, on Ernest Becker's denial of death, and on his own experience.

The book contains no research and the profanity is a deliberate marketing device. The arguments are not original individually, and readers familiar with Stoicism will recognise most of them. The distinction between fault and responsibility, and the argument that values determine which problems you get, are stated more usefully here than in most sources. The tone will alienate a substantial number of readers by design.

Key takeaways 8

  1. A person has a limited capacity to care and must choose deliberately what to spend it on rather than trying to care about everything.
  2. The pursuit of constant positive experience is itself a negative experience, since it makes every ordinary difficulty a failure.
  3. Problems never end, so the objective is better problems rather than the absence of them.
  4. Values determine which problems a person gets, which means bad values produce suffering regardless of how successful the person is.
  5. Good values are reality-based, socially constructive and within a person's control, while bad values are none of these.
  6. Fault and responsibility are different, and a person is always responsible for their response even when not at fault for the situation.
  7. Certainty prevents improvement, so a person should aim to be less wrong over time rather than to be right.
  8. Commitment is meaningful only where rejection of alternatives is real, which is why refusing to choose produces nothing.

Who should read it

Readers who reject conventional self-improvement writing and want Stoic and Buddhist positions restated bluntly.

Where it sits in the reference 0

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Who recommended it 5 · 1 direct

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The best books on meaning and purpose
“Manson's contrarian entry: the problem isn't that people lack motivation, it's that they've adopted shallow values. Meaning comes from choosing what to struggle for, not from eliminating struggle. The tone grates but the underlying argument — that values, not feelings, are the substrate of purpose — is philosophically sound.”

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